What is a “Friend”?
So, as part of the grand experimment in social networking, I’ve been on Facebook for over a week. I have 32 “friends”. Some of those people have over a hundred Facebook friends. I know for a fact that hese people aren’t nearly that popular away from their PC.
In the “real” world, friend is not a term I throw around lightly. Friendship implies trust, camaraderie, shared interests and ideals. A friend is someone you want to spend time with. Someone you can count on when you need them. Somebody you could ask when you need a ride to the airport (OK - some friends believe that the airport run goes beyond the bounds of friendship). In the real world, if you asked me how many friends I have - not acquaintances, not poker buddies - actual friends - I’m pretty sure the final count would come in well under my 32 Facebook friends -and the Facebook friend requests are still pouring in. I should hit 50 by the end of the week. Because of Facebook is the word Friend losing it’s value?
Of my gang of 32, I initiated 4 - and those were nieces and nephews with whom I actually would like to stay in closer contact. Beyond that - some folks who reached out to me included my sisters, close friends and a few business acquaintances.
Then it gets interesting - I did indeed hear from first and second cousins. A high school acquaintance I have not been in touch with since the day we graduated. A friend of my nieces. My buddy’s ex-wife. A former co-worker who had moved to Costa Rica (and I’d never noticed!). I was invited, by someone I’d met twice in Nassau, to join a Facebook group for Bahamas Local Businessmen. Huh?
And the one-line status updates continue to baffle me. People are “drinking beer”, “getting excited about the weekend”, “torturing my cat” and the very post-modern, self-referential “checking my Facebook”. Stay tuned for more breaking news - someone may water their plants…
Richard,
I reiterate something I previously wrote in my response to your later, second “Facebook Experiment” blog contribution:
My only friends on Facebook are people I have had the chance to meet with in person and with whom I’ve had the opportunity and honor to develop a real-time, real-world relationship, rekindling some long lost friendships–treasures of my teenage years and early twenties.
Yes, some of my Facebook Friends are just acquaintances, no one I could ever depend on for a ride to the airport.
I think that it’s important when dealing with cyberspace social networking that one makes a distinction between common or even identical terms. Like, in the case of the word “FRIEND,” I agree with you that true friends are few and far between. Real-World Friends!
When in cyberspace, fiddling around with the sometimes awkward contrivances of popular social networking sites, the term “FRIEND” has a much broader connotation. You’re right! Facebook has distorted the word (same as in Myspace, where stars of the scene boast of their friends in the thousands and tens of thousands), stripping it of the important significance and meaning it carries in everyday, Real-World Life.
But I also think that most intelligent people walk into the Facebook or MySpace experience fully cognizant of the distinctions in that single word–the distinction between two maniacally separate worlds: Mother Earth and the Cyborg/Droid planets of cyberspace.
I’m still quite impressed by (and a little bit suspicious of) the fact that you have over a hundred and ten friends in Facebook in only the matter of one week’s time.
I’ll ask again: Are these “FRIENDS” all people you’ve known in person? Or are you confirming complete strangers as friends?
I don’t understand the appeal of building up a long list of Facebook Friends just to tout one’s popularity in cyberspace, when all it really does is clog up your News Feeds and Status Reports, and you miss hearing about how the few true friends who are there with you in Facebook are doing.
Which is why I like that you can control the amount of news and information you receive on any given person in News Feeds and Status Reports, by selecting “Show Less” or “Show More” with the “Options” pop-up link next to feeds.
Ok, That’s enough from me for the night. This website has strangely sucked me into a vortex in the later half of the day today.
I don’t know where my impulse to respond so thoughtfully to airy, witless, minute-by-minute blog blabbering came from today. I hope you and your colleagues have a fun time reading my novelette comments. I hope they mean something to you.
I’ve learned a lot from your website this evening, exploring the articles and video tutorials on various topics. It wasn’t until I started to read the blogs that I was really pulled in: hook, line and sinker.
I’ll check back tomorrow or the day after to see if my comments passed moderation and were actually posted for public viewing. I’m not sure how many blog responses you guys get every day.
Perhaps, mine are just ones among countless others. Perhaps, mine are off-beat, unexpected, stand-alone, candid tokens of the effectiveness of this website. Some among few. We’ll see in a day or two.
Wishing you well,
– Matt(e)o | QHereKidSF