Where No Network Has Gone Before…

All of a sudden, all sorts of electronics need to access the internet and they are nowhere near my network. I didn’t hard-wire my living room for ethernet. My media pc is wireless and I never foresaw the need. Now I need multiple net connections and I don’t want to tear the walls open again.

First - here’s why I suddenly need new network connections:

My DirecTV dvr downloads “on demand” programming  over the internet and needs a high-speed connecion using an ethernet cable. Of course, even though it has a USB port, it won’t take a USB wireless adapter. (By the way, a quick note to the folks at DirecTV - “on demand” means “give it to me when I ask for it”. It doesn’t mean “give it to me after I ask for it, put it in the queue and download it to my dvr”.)

I’m shopping for a new Blu-Ray player. I’d waited out the format wars and the first generation technical glitches, but I’m ready. Quite a few of the newer models have network jacks to enable firmware upgrades directly from the internet - a pretty good idea, so I’d like to be able to take advantage.

I’m also looking at adding a Slingbox to the mix. It’s not that I have a driving need to access my dvr while I’m on vacation. I’ve got a close friend whose job has taken him to Asia for the next 3 years, and he’s jonesing for his Florida Gators and his favorite TV shows as the new season begins. I figured a Slingbox help him stay in touch. And of course a Slingbox will require a connection to the Internet.

So I went looking for a solution that would bring the network to my living room at a minimal cost and with minimal effort. My first thought was a concept I’d been making fun of for ages - powerline networking. Quite simply, a powerline network has (at least) 2 adapters that you plug into an electrical outlet. One gets plugged in near the router and connects to the router with an ethernet cable. The second adapter gets plugged in (in my case) to an outlet in the living room, near my home theater equipment. Again, from there, ethernet cables connect the devices to the adapter. The model I bought had jacks for 4 simultaneous connections. Score! Yeah. Right…

A few problems. The manufacturer warns against using power strips, surge protectors, extension cords, etc. There isn’t an empty wal socket within 30 feet. But I juggled and daisy-chained until I could free one up. Unfortunately, the circuit that my home thearter is on has been split, fragmented and expanded so often that getting a network connection to that wall was never going to happen. But I’ll keep the adapters. When my refrigerator requires net access, this will be an elegant solution.

Next stop was to go wireless. There are a variety of wireless bridges out there and their function is exactly what I needed. The bridge grabs the wireless signal and lets you connect a through an ethernet cable. The problem was that every one I looked at had one output and I wanted to connect at least 3 devices. I considered adding a router that would connect to the bridge and then distribute, but that seemed wasteful. There had to be a better way. And then I found it - The D-Link DAP1522 4-Port GigaBit Wireless Bridge/Access Point, a handy little device that lets me connect up to 4 devices to my wireless network. So my 3 new toys will get their access and I still have room for one more, if my couch ever needsthe Internet.

Despi-cable

I need to rant about my recent adventures with my cable company. I now truly understand why cable companies need to be a monopoly in any given market: if they had any competiion, my cable company wouldn’t have a single customer left. Out of deference to the folks at Digital Landing (who do business with my cable provider) I won’t name names, but our story begins on a rainy spring day…

With the coming of the rainy season in Florida came the horrifying realization that my broadband internet connection died every time it rained. And some of my premium and HD channels began to randomly disappear. I called my cable company, went through the standard round of idiocy:

“Unplug your modem, shot down your computer, re-start the modem, restart the computer.” “I did that already before I called you.” “I’ll need you to do it again, sir.” Followed by “Hmm, I don’t see your modem online. There must be a problem. We can have technician there in 4 days” ARRRGGHHH! Fortunately I have a backup DSL line, so I waited…

By the time the technician arrived, the service had mysteriously restored, but after  checking my wiring and signal strength I was told that the problem was with the outside cable coming into the house, which of course required a different technician. Two weeks and numerous rainy outages later, the outside problem wasn’t resolved. So I called customer service and insisted on escalating. I’m pretty sure that when they put you on hold whle they get a supervisor, the rep turns to the guy next to him and says “Hey, Joe - I got another loser who needs to bitch. Wanna pretend to be a supervisor?” My chat with the supervisor accomplished nothing and I asked for the next level. This is when it gets fun…

The next level of support is called “The Office of the President”. Seriously. That’s how they answer the phone. Boy, that made me feel important! Now, let me give you a little perspective - I subscribe to every premium channel available (yes, I really need 72 HBO channels) in addition to their fastest Internet service, all of which results in a monthly bill over $200. So I’m not the kind of customer they want to lose. But since I also have DirecTV (for football, it’s a necessity) and that backup DSL, I’m also in the position where dumping my cable would be pretty easy. So I thought I as in a pretty good negotiating position.

I explained my problem to a representative of the Office of the President and she was very sympathetic. 15 minutes later, the ocal service manager called me and within an hour a technician was at my house, with orders to make me happy. Nd he tried - I gotta tell you. The guy spent 6 hours rewiring everything in my house, and then told me I had a weak signal and they need to replace the cable coming into my house, which of course required a different technician. Deja vu all over again.

Four weeks later, still no resolution, and according to the Office of the President, my issue had been marked “resolved”, a mistake I was eager to correct. The same tech came back again, astonished that nothing else was done. So he took it upon himself to run a new cable to the house (although someone else would have to come bury it). The cable ran to the main box which is in a neighbor’s yard. Suddenly I had all my channels and a markedly improved internet connection. Three hours later, of course after business hours, I lost cable service completely. I went in my yard and found that my new cable wasn’t connected to anything.

The next morning I called the Office of the President (I REALLY like saying that!) and asked if Ashton Kutscher was setting me up for an episode of Punk’d. 2 hours later, new guys come to re-connect the cable. 2 hours later after that, cable is gone again and I was on the phone with the Office of the President. I ran out for a few minutes and when I returned, the cable truck was in front of my house. As I got out of my car, he drove away, so I thought my problem had been solved, but I still had no service. Guess who I called…

The cable guy returned an hour later and told me that while I did indeed need that new cable, the last outages had new wrinkle: the neighbor (whose yard is adjacent to mine but actually lives one block over) had his own gripes with the cable company and had expressed his displeasure by rpping all the wires out of the ain junction box. When they’d been repaired, he ripped them out again. And so the cable guys had to call the police, who in turn told the neighbor that if he touched the wires again, he’d be in jail.

So no I have new cables inside my house and outside. The outside ones have been buried. I have a brand new modem. Everything seems to be going fine. But tonight’s forecast calls for rain…