Another Facebook Update

Just a quick update on the Great Facebook Experiment:

- I now have 112 friends

- The first girl I ever had a crush on has found me. Too bad she’s married…

- What am I supposed to do when somebody buys me online drinks? WHat the hell is a Lil Green Patch? And I don’t even want to know about “kidnapping” or “poking”.

Seriously folks - exchaging vacation pictures is one thing, but sending imaginary farm animals to someone crosses a whole new line…

Where No Network Has Gone Before…

All of a sudden, all sorts of electronics need to access the internet and they are nowhere near my network. I didn’t hard-wire my living room for ethernet. My media pc is wireless and I never foresaw the need. Now I need multiple net connections and I don’t want to tear the walls open again.

First - here’s why I suddenly need new network connections:

My DirecTV dvr downloads “on demand” programming  over the internet and needs a high-speed connecion using an ethernet cable. Of course, even though it has a USB port, it won’t take a USB wireless adapter. (By the way, a quick note to the folks at DirecTV - “on demand” means “give it to me when I ask for it”. It doesn’t mean “give it to me after I ask for it, put it in the queue and download it to my dvr”.)

I’m shopping for a new Blu-Ray player. I’d waited out the format wars and the first generation technical glitches, but I’m ready. Quite a few of the newer models have network jacks to enable firmware upgrades directly from the internet - a pretty good idea, so I’d like to be able to take advantage.

I’m also looking at adding a Slingbox to the mix. It’s not that I have a driving need to access my dvr while I’m on vacation. I’ve got a close friend whose job has taken him to Asia for the next 3 years, and he’s jonesing for his Florida Gators and his favorite TV shows as the new season begins. I figured a Slingbox help him stay in touch. And of course a Slingbox will require a connection to the Internet.

So I went looking for a solution that would bring the network to my living room at a minimal cost and with minimal effort. My first thought was a concept I’d been making fun of for ages - powerline networking. Quite simply, a powerline network has (at least) 2 adapters that you plug into an electrical outlet. One gets plugged in near the router and connects to the router with an ethernet cable. The second adapter gets plugged in (in my case) to an outlet in the living room, near my home theater equipment. Again, from there, ethernet cables connect the devices to the adapter. The model I bought had jacks for 4 simultaneous connections. Score! Yeah. Right…

A few problems. The manufacturer warns against using power strips, surge protectors, extension cords, etc. There isn’t an empty wal socket within 30 feet. But I juggled and daisy-chained until I could free one up. Unfortunately, the circuit that my home thearter is on has been split, fragmented and expanded so often that getting a network connection to that wall was never going to happen. But I’ll keep the adapters. When my refrigerator requires net access, this will be an elegant solution.

Next stop was to go wireless. There are a variety of wireless bridges out there and their function is exactly what I needed. The bridge grabs the wireless signal and lets you connect a through an ethernet cable. The problem was that every one I looked at had one output and I wanted to connect at least 3 devices. I considered adding a router that would connect to the bridge and then distribute, but that seemed wasteful. There had to be a better way. And then I found it - The D-Link DAP1522 4-Port GigaBit Wireless Bridge/Access Point, a handy little device that lets me connect up to 4 devices to my wireless network. So my 3 new toys will get their access and I still have room for one more, if my couch ever needsthe Internet.

What is a “Friend”?

So, as part of the grand experimment in social networking, I’ve been on Facebook for over a week. I have 32 “friends”. Some of those people have over a hundred Facebook friends. I know for a fact that hese people aren’t nearly that popular away from their PC.

In the “real” world, friend is not a term I throw around lightly. Friendship implies trust, camaraderie, shared interests and ideals. A friend is someone you want to spend time with. Someone you can count on when you need them. Somebody you could ask when you need a ride to the airport (OK - some friends believe that the airport run goes beyond the bounds of friendship). In the real world, if you asked me how many friends I have - not acquaintances, not poker buddies - actual friends - I’m pretty sure the final count would come in well under my 32 Facebook friends -and the Facebook friend requests are still pouring in. I should hit 50 by the end of the week. Because of Facebook is the word Friend losing it’s value?

Of my gang of 32, I initiated 4 - and those were nieces and nephews with whom I actually would like to stay in closer contact. Beyond that - some folks who reached out to me included my sisters, close friends and a few business acquaintances.

Then it gets interesting - I did indeed hear from first and second cousins. A high school acquaintance I have not been in touch with since the day we graduated. A friend of my nieces. My buddy’s ex-wife. A former co-worker who had moved to Costa Rica (and I’d never noticed!). I was invited, by someone I’d met twice in Nassau, to join a Facebook group for Bahamas Local Businessmen. Huh?

And the one-line status updates continue to baffle me. People are “drinking beer”, “getting excited about the weekend”, “torturing my cat” and the very post-modern, self-referential “checking my Facebook”. Stay tuned for more breaking news - someone may water their plants…

The Great Social Experiment

Ok - I know I’ve been slacking on the blog updates. Sorry about that. But I’m back.

And to start us back up, I’m venturing into the world of “social networking“. Yes, at long last, I will have a Facebook page!

You might be wondering what the big deal is. Why wouldn’t I have had a Facebook page already? I’d actually registered a year or two back - just to see what was going on, but had never even filled in my profile. There are a few reasons that I held out this long:

The “Ick” Factor- For the longest time, I still thought of Facebook as a place for high school and college kids. When they fisrt started Facebook, you couldn’t even join unless you were a student with a “.edu” email address to prove it.  That was still my perception. And and when I heard my contemporaries talking about having a Facebook page, I still thought that a middle-aged guy with a Facebook page would make me look like a creepy schoolyard stalker.

I Have Enough Friends - I kept hearing stories about rediscovering people from you past. My 50-something sister re-connected with high school friends from over 30 years ago. People found friends who had moved or relatives they’d lost touch with. Maybe it’s just me, but I already stay in touch with the people I want to keep in my life. I have no room for re-adding old friends and do I really need to exchange photos with third cousins that I haven’t seen since my bar mitzvah?

What Do I Do When I Get There? - OK - so I put up a page, post a picture of myself and tell a bit about my life. And swarms of friends, relatives and kindred souls find me. Now what? If you weren’t invited to my Labor Day BBQ, why would you want to see pictures of it? There’s the Twitter-like “What I’m Doing Now” function, but again, if you haven’t seen me in 20 years, do you care that I just got back from the liquor store? (Of course, if you’ve known me that long, you’d know that a trip to the liquor store isn’t really breaking news…)

So, despite my reservations, I put up a page, responded to the long-ignored “friend” invites and lit the fuse. The invites have already started to pour in. So we’ll go through this together. We’ll look at who found me, try and figure out how they found me, why they reached out and maybe you can help me figure out what to do now that I’m “connected” to these people…

Despi-cable

I need to rant about my recent adventures with my cable company. I now truly understand why cable companies need to be a monopoly in any given market: if they had any competiion, my cable company wouldn’t have a single customer left. Out of deference to the folks at Digital Landing (who do business with my cable provider) I won’t name names, but our story begins on a rainy spring day…

With the coming of the rainy season in Florida came the horrifying realization that my broadband internet connection died every time it rained. And some of my premium and HD channels began to randomly disappear. I called my cable company, went through the standard round of idiocy:

“Unplug your modem, shot down your computer, re-start the modem, restart the computer.” “I did that already before I called you.” “I’ll need you to do it again, sir.” Followed by “Hmm, I don’t see your modem online. There must be a problem. We can have technician there in 4 days” ARRRGGHHH! Fortunately I have a backup DSL line, so I waited…

By the time the technician arrived, the service had mysteriously restored, but after  checking my wiring and signal strength I was told that the problem was with the outside cable coming into the house, which of course required a different technician. Two weeks and numerous rainy outages later, the outside problem wasn’t resolved. So I called customer service and insisted on escalating. I’m pretty sure that when they put you on hold whle they get a supervisor, the rep turns to the guy next to him and says “Hey, Joe - I got another loser who needs to bitch. Wanna pretend to be a supervisor?” My chat with the supervisor accomplished nothing and I asked for the next level. This is when it gets fun…

The next level of support is called “The Office of the President”. Seriously. That’s how they answer the phone. Boy, that made me feel important! Now, let me give you a little perspective - I subscribe to every premium channel available (yes, I really need 72 HBO channels) in addition to their fastest Internet service, all of which results in a monthly bill over $200. So I’m not the kind of customer they want to lose. But since I also have DirecTV (for football, it’s a necessity) and that backup DSL, I’m also in the position where dumping my cable would be pretty easy. So I thought I as in a pretty good negotiating position.

I explained my problem to a representative of the Office of the President and she was very sympathetic. 15 minutes later, the ocal service manager called me and within an hour a technician was at my house, with orders to make me happy. Nd he tried - I gotta tell you. The guy spent 6 hours rewiring everything in my house, and then told me I had a weak signal and they need to replace the cable coming into my house, which of course required a different technician. Deja vu all over again.

Four weeks later, still no resolution, and according to the Office of the President, my issue had been marked “resolved”, a mistake I was eager to correct. The same tech came back again, astonished that nothing else was done. So he took it upon himself to run a new cable to the house (although someone else would have to come bury it). The cable ran to the main box which is in a neighbor’s yard. Suddenly I had all my channels and a markedly improved internet connection. Three hours later, of course after business hours, I lost cable service completely. I went in my yard and found that my new cable wasn’t connected to anything.

The next morning I called the Office of the President (I REALLY like saying that!) and asked if Ashton Kutscher was setting me up for an episode of Punk’d. 2 hours later, new guys come to re-connect the cable. 2 hours later after that, cable is gone again and I was on the phone with the Office of the President. I ran out for a few minutes and when I returned, the cable truck was in front of my house. As I got out of my car, he drove away, so I thought my problem had been solved, but I still had no service. Guess who I called…

The cable guy returned an hour later and told me that while I did indeed need that new cable, the last outages had new wrinkle: the neighbor (whose yard is adjacent to mine but actually lives one block over) had his own gripes with the cable company and had expressed his displeasure by rpping all the wires out of the ain junction box. When they’d been repaired, he ripped them out again. And so the cable guys had to call the police, who in turn told the neighbor that if he touched the wires again, he’d be in jail.

So no I have new cables inside my house and outside. The outside ones have been buried. I have a brand new modem. Everything seems to be going fine. But tonight’s forecast calls for rain…

Plane Crazy

It’s been a long time coming but American Airlines is getting ready to roll out high-speed Internet access on airplanes. All at once it’s a great idea and the second worst thing that could happen to air travel. (We’ll get to the WORST thing a few paragraphs down.)

Personally, I’m excited by the possibilty of being productive on flights - at least until the 3rd or 4th vodka kicks in. I’d love to spend a 3 hour flight answering emails or writing brilliantly engaging blog posts instead of zoning out watching videos on my iPod - at least until the 3rd or 4th vodka kicks in. But while this service is aimed at the business traveller looking for productivity time, we all know that even in business class, you rarely end up surrounded by business travellers. And that’s when the “fun” begins…

Imagine that the person two rows behind you is 17 and was sending text messages on her phone at lightning speed right up until the plane left the ground. 20 minutes later, you’re at cruising altitude, she fires up a laptop, pops up her IM and starts chatting - of course without turning off her sound. Enjoy the melodious tones of AOL for the next 3 hours. And of course the pinging sound of 30 Outlook clients receiving mail all around you.

It could get worse. Both Skype and Internet Phone providers like Vonage now offer USB phones so you can make calls from your laptop. Now imagine that on your red-eye flight back from L.A. to New York.

Which brings me back to the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to air travel: the long-threatened use of mobile phones on airplanes. Think about that guy who cut off 3 lanes of traffic while screaming into his Bluetooth headset. Or the 80 year old woman in front of you on line at the supermarket who can’t stop talking on the phone long enough to pay for her groceries. (And then she writes a check! Why do they still let people write checks at the supermarket! Get a freaking ATM card already!) Now imagine these people are within 5 rows of you on an airplane.

Don’t get me wrong - as I said earlier, I look forward to the benefits of technology following me wherever I go. But it would be a lot more palatable if common courtesy were actually a little more common - at least until the 3rd or 4th vodka kicks in…

“Lost” My Mind

For me, following a show like “Lost” is an addiction. And the Internet has been a huge part of that. The Lost folks figured out pretty early on that their fan base was pretty web-savvy and they used it brilliantly to engage new fans and keep the devoted ones buzzing even in the off season.

Bogus commercials on TV for the Hanso Foundation led to websites that held clues to the mysterious Dharma Initiative. “Official” sites ranged from the website for Oceanic Air, the airline that the castaways were flying when they crashed to Find815.com - a site supposedly about one man’s search for his girlfriend who was on the doomed flight.  BTW - as an example of how well the ABC folks targeted the “geek” market, the URL for Find815.com was placed in the background of certain Marvel comic books.

The fan population is pretty active online, as well. There are hundreds of sites devoted to studying and discussing the minutae of every episode. Fans take screen captures from their HDTV DVR to analyze background details like newspaper articles that the characters are reading (and, for the record, the producers are pretty meticulous about those tiny details being accurate, so the fans aren’t as crazy as it sounds). They try to figure out the meaning behind characters that are named after dead philosophers, discuss the symbolism of Jack tripping over a Star wars toy and constantly evolve their theories about what the show is really about.

I’m sure the fan forums will spend the entire summer analyzing every detail of the season finale, which really was awesome! And while I hate “spoilers” (people who insist on publishing important plot points and ruin the suspense for everybody), I do love to check in and see what the conspiracy theorists and obsessive fans come up with next.

On The Road Again…

I’m heading to Texas this afternoon for a conference, and it got me thinking about how everything about travel has changed in the digital era.

Online travel planning has completely changed the way we travel. When was the last time you called a travel agent? Hell - when was the last time you even said the words “travel agent”?

I booked my plane tickets and selected my seats online - on my favorite airline, JetBlue. I was able to download and print my boarding pass - avoiding another line and allowing me to get to the airport even later. (I’m that guy who’s always running through the terminal in a state of panic…)

Hotel was booked on Hotels.com, where I could find a hotel near my conference, check out reviews by recent guests, and find the best rates. A quick printout from Google Maps gives me the quickest route from my hotel to the conference.

While I’m waiting in the airport (if indeed I make it there with any time to spare), I can stay oon top of everything by jumping on the terminal’s Wi-Fi service. And once I’m in the air, JetBlue has DirecTV for every seat. Sweet! And if there’s nothing I want to watch, of course my iPod will be along, with 160 gb of music, movies and TV shows - including the first 3 seasons of Lost. After the finale tomorrow, I want to go back and look for clues in the early seasons. (Oh - I mentioned my iPod, didn’t I? Here’s the obligitory “iTunes Sucks”.)

There’s one digital component I pray never makes the transition to plane travel - mobile phones. Every time I read about a new attemppt to offer in-flight cell phone service, I shudder. You know that fat old lady ahead of you in the checkout line at the supermarket who can’t stop talking (shouting?) on her phone long enough to pay the bill and get out of your way? Now picture her squeezed into the middle seat next to you on the plane - and her phone works! Dante didn’t imagine as vivid an image of Hell!

The Digital Generation Gap

Why does technology intimidate my parents? They’re both educated and well-read. And they’re certainly not timid. So why can’t they remember how to transfer photos from their digital camera to their PC?

My Dad was always the type of guy who would never back down from doing major home improvement projects himself. He wasn’t afraid of starting up a rented chainsaw or firing up a blow torch. He taught himself how to install a full underground sprinkler system. He built wall units, a bar and all sorts of structures with a few quick sketches and without a moment’s doubt in his own abilities. So why can’t he retrieve voicemail from his mobile phone?

They won’t use their credit card online. When they need to buy plane tickets online, they call me and ask me to do it for them, using my credit card - then they write me a check for the cost. I’m not sure whether they don’t know how to do it - or if they are scared to use a credit card online. If they’re afraid of identity theft, why do they think it’s ok to put mine at risk?

High-speed Internet connection? Not for my folks. Their dial-up AOL account is all they need. And when they get into that slow lane on the Information Superhighway, do you think they know where they’re going or how to get there? Not a chance! When my mom somehow deleted the shortcut to Hotmail, she had no idea how to get there on her own.

I truly thought it was a lost cause until I watched my father play against his grandchildren on a Wii gaming system. He bowled in perfect form and swung a bat like a pro. My sisters and I wondered if this would be an awesome thing to buy him. We could envision him gathering his 70-something golf buddies for Wii tournaments in the clubhouse. But then we realized someone would have to know how to turn it on…